mettle

/ˈmɛt.l̩/

noun

-A quality of endurance and courage.

-Good temperament and character.

-Obsolete meaning – Metal; a metallic substance.

(from Wiktionary, Creative Commons Attribution/Share-Alike License. More at Wordnik https://www.wordnik.com/words/mettle )

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I originally wrote this experience down (that I call “The Mettles”) in 2021 on the day that it happened. The description has gone through a few iterations since then and has been shared in written form and in conversation with other survivors here and there and with small groups of individuals. 

I wanted to publish it here because, for me, it represents a major shift in perception about myself and my history. 

Let me explain. 

In 2021, I was just “waking up” to the possibility that my conscious and unconscious memories of my life thus far may have contained “more than meets the eye.” Back then, I was beginning to  have these “blasts and blips” of strange and sometimes horrible scenes that did not make any sense to me at all. At the same time, I would also have a visceral reaction to them that felt even weirder to me. Usually the reactions were very physical and would include nausea, becoming very cold all of the sudden, rapid heart beat, chaotic thinking/brain fog, or just a very deep sense of foreboding.  

A quick but important digression here for just a moment…

These very real and sudden reactions I know now have a name. In the psychology world, they are called “abreactions.” Here is one clinical definition of an abreaction: 

“A process by which repressed material, particularly a painful experience or conflict, is brought back into consciousness. In the process the person not only recalls, but also relives the situation and experiences the appropriate emotional response.” *

Of course, you don’t have to be a survivor of SRA/mind control programming to experience an abreaction. It can happen to a person as traumatic memories of any kind come up, as long as there are strong emotions attached to them. 

It is also interesting to note that in the secular psychology world, “abreaction” is sometimes brought up intentionally by a therapist. Hence, the word “abreaction” can also denote a methodology in that field for “healing” childhood trauma. Sometimes (when the method is used by a psychiatrist) it is used in combination with certain drugs to either “force” the memory up to the surface (i.e. a stimulant) or to repress intense emotions (i.e. a depressant). Sometimes both are used. In my perception, this rather archaic method creates a harsh experience for the survivor (whether that survivor is a child or an adult) and may even be re-traumatizing. 

Thank goodness that our True Family** loves us and has such a better way of bringing memories to the surface! 

Still, abreaction as a phenomenon is quite common amongst faith-based survivors as well. So I wonder if it is also used by True Family in a holy way (i.e. the original way it was intended by the Original Physician!) to gently expose us to deep-seeded traumatic memories in a holistic way so that we can heal. 

In other words, we all know that abreactions are a “thing” and that they happen, usually at the onset of some memory work that we, as survivors, get to do. But have you ever thought about how these memories come to the surface and why? I mean, why now? And why this scene? 

I think personally that there is a very exact reason why memories come to the surface when and how they do when one is walking with True Jesus Christ/ True Holy Spirit / True Abba. When we walk hand and hand with our True Family, then the “timing of things” points to the amazing love and gentle care of our awesome God. Only He knows the perfect moment in a person’s life in which to release a memory within their inner realm. Only True Yahweh knows how to allow it to bubble up to the surface of a person’s consciousness in just the right way, with just the right scene, and just the right senses activated. With True Family, these things can be done so very gently, and with a purpose that is always good. It is always with care and love that our God directs our path of healing, when we let Him.  

Needless to say, back in 2021, not only did I not want to walk hand-in-hand with True Family in unpacking my memories. I didn’t even want to acknowledge that they existed!*** 

Sometimes, True Family shows up as our Sovereign God (Job 42:2). This is how, I believe, True Jesus showed up for me back in 2021 with “The Mettles.” All I can say was that it was an experience that was so visceral, so detailed, so sensory, and so real to me that even the deeply-embedded layers of multiple denial programs within me could not cover up His Truth and the truth of my own human spirit. 

—   —    —     — 

Jan 24, 2021

Holy spirit, I receive you as my comforter and my shield. Thank you for being my total protector, my comforter, and for the cross where I send all of the manipulations of my body, mind, soul, and spirit. Where I come clean and am made whole.

I see a sheath, like a membrane. I hear the word “pin cushion.” The most noticeable thing about the sheath is that it covers my entire backside. Also, the color. It is the most sickening gray. It is devoid of life. It is a dull gray like decomposing flesh, and it has swirls of dark green in it.

I see little holes where needles have been inserted. The needles are like thorns. There are dozens of points on the sheath where the thorns had been inserted. The thorns themselves are “metal” (although I see the actual word “mettle”). I think that this is what this thing is called, this device. It is called a “mettle.” Anyhow, they are like nails, the needle/thorn things. There is a tiny head. The head is important somehow. The head is a transmitter.

There are dozens of mettles all along my backside and the shape that each insertion point makes is like a clove, a hole with tiny little gatherings all around. So, you can’t simply “take them out” physically, or rather “mechanically,” as in with psychic surgery. You wouldn’t even see them, as a matter of fact. They are quantum and hidden – these “mettles.”

Thank you, Jesus, thank you, the One True God most high, our protector and savior, our source of Light and Love. He who is Light and Love.  Thank you, Holy Spirit. I receive you as my comforter and my shield.

I see then what the Lord is doing to remove them. I see that True Jesus – in all his glory, strength, and power! – is taking the entire sheath off, as if peeling away a membrane. In fact, as he is doing this and I am watching from within the sheath, I realized that it is indeed a membrane.

Split seconds before a part of the membrane is removed by True Jesus, he removes the thorns (i.e., the “mettles”) as well. He is doing this so fast, His work is like a blur to my eyes. I see His hands within the blur and a golden light all around as He works. 

There are literally dozens of mettles, maybe even hundreds of them, and they are all connected to meridian points based on some occult version of Traditional Chinese Medicine. They are all  connected to the fascia system in the body too. I know that placing them along these lines “helps” them to embed into my neuro-network and connect to others/something else. So, this is nanotechnology as well.

Peeling, peeling, peeling… the True Lord Jesus Christ continues His work in rapid fire. He is the ultimate surgeon. He knows exactly what He is doing. So many of them, lots and lots of them in the back of the skull area, the shoulders, along the spine, the lower back and across too. 

I see the shape now. The mettles make the form of an upside down cross on my back and I know that this was important to whoever/whatever put the membrane in place. All the way down to my feet. There are so many of them along the bottom of my feet and along the circumference of each foot. This makes my steps tentative in the natural – assuring that I live in fear, clumsiness, and “not sure of foot” and in a constant state of ungroundedness.

Yeshua. Beautiful, lovely friend and savior. He is saving me now and I see his golden light doing all this. He peels back the membrane starting at the feet while at the same time, in rapid fire, removing each mettle with lightning-fast speed. His hands are golden, barely visible. He works faster than fast and with exact precision. There are so many of them. And he removes them all.

Then he replaces them with golden light, with love, with care, with anchor points that are natural to all his children. The way he designed us to be! 

Thank you, Yeshua, thank you Holy Spirit, thank you Abba.

I see a golden network superimposing in place of the mettles apparati. The blood of Jesus, the highest of the high, the highest healing frequency that allows us to fly in the spirit and here on earth, to breathe from every cell. 

There is the breath of God in every cell when we walk with Yeshua!

I see the layers of this Restoration Network as one of golden light laid like the gentlest feather with such Love and Devotion onto my backside. And every cell in the back of my skull, in my shoulders, down my back, my legs too. I “see” the pain in my knees as light shards as the mettles are removed and I see the anointing oil as a soothing salve saturating into the tissue in that area as the network of True Family’s Golden Light is laid firmly into place. This golden network that he is laying down is not something foreign or alien or even unfamiliar. It is not a replacement for the “other thing,”  i.e. the mettles. It was/is/has always been there. Always there. Never really ever gone. 

Yeshua is now showing me what has always already been there. What is required is my conscious awareness of its presence and a free will decision to allow it simply to be. 

Thank you, Yeshua, Holy Spirit, Abba. True Holy Spirit, I receive you as my comforter and my shield.

Next there is the front side. And again, I see the dank, gross, disgusting grey membrane over my entire face. The membrane is also covering my mouth. There is an insidious purpose to this,  of “freezing time” in the mouth.

I know in the moment that there was an experience that occurred before. And there was a facial expression where the mouth (my mouth) was open as if aghast, in shock and horror at what was occurring. In that moment of horror, with my mouth open (maybe attempting to scream but I could not?),  the membrane – with all those tiny mettle points like thorns – was put firmly into place.

At that exact moment, the membrane was placed along the facial area too. The mettles were placed around the skull and the membrane was sealed around the corners of the lips and around the eye sockets and around the area where the third eye breathes and expresses into physical form.

And I also see that the membrane, sickeningly gray in color with swirls of the most hideous green, is covering my throat in the same way, along the indent in the thyroid, and along the lungs. Constricting. The whole membrane and the mettles in place were meant to constrict.

Also, down into the abdomen, I see that the membrane is connected to parasitic life forms specifically in the upper GI area where immune system cells are located. The parasites are big and fat and they lay in a cluster in the upper abdomen.

In the front part of the membrane, I see two clusters of microorganisms connected to the membrane itself. These microorganisms cannot survive without the protection of the membrane. The membrane superimposed upon me was an artificial AI membrane. Somehow, I know at the time that it was also put in place as a cheap and twisted imitation of the True and Holy Sword of the Spirit and Shield of Faith (Ephesians 6:16-17).

The two areas where the parasites are gathered are in the upper abdomen and also in the reproductive area. The reproductive area microorganisms are smaller and look almost like clouds or cotton candy, while the abdomen ones are clearly defined as wormlike creatures. 

As Yeshua peels the membrane away from these two areas of my body, the microorganisms leave with it! 

It is as if the membrane has built-in pockets in those two areas for the residing and propagating of the microorganisms and so, with the same swiftness as with the back, True Lord Jesus Christ removes the “mettles” and the membrane. The two pockets of microorganisms are simply peeled back as well and are removed with it – just like that!

Holy spirit, I receive you as my comforter and my shield. Thank you thank you thank you!

I then witness in the moment the placement again in the front part of The True Shield of Light, the Shield of Faith. 

It is already there/ has always been there/ can never go away. Yeshua is showing me that He is “alighting” it, making it right, in all His wonderful glory…and also that all possibility of all communication of all light and love with True Family is available now. I had no idea!

And then I see my Spirit take a breath and lift her head up high and smile and be filled with so much light and love and real breath (Holy Spirit breath), perhaps for the first time in a very long time. I perceive my Spirit as embodying “Arise and Shine” in all her hugeness and glory! (Isaiah 60). She is full of glory and His love. She is His perfect creation, so adored by the True Lord of Hosts! 

I see again a color that is indescribable. It has elements of silver/gray too, but also iridescent flecks of the most beautiful blues and greens and each fleck is unique, and each shimmering color is its own species of beauty!

And now I  am complete and whole and renewed and go quickly to my computer so I could type all this out before I forget …although I think that this experience and all that it has revealed about His glory will never be forgotten by WHO I REALLY AM!

Thank you, Yeshua, thank you Abba, thank you Holy Spirit! Holy Spirit, I receive you as my comforter and my shield.

© JT, 2025

*Wong, N. (2007). Encyclopedia of Stress (Second Edition): Reenactment Techniques. Academic Press, Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences, Bethesda, MD, USA.

Find more info on this definition and others on the web at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/abreaction

**The author’s term used to distinguish the real Trinity of God from distortions.

***Consistently dismissing memories or other evidence that mind control programming/SRA/complex trauma may have occurred could be part of intentional “Denial Programming.” This blog can tell you more about it:

https://veronicaswift.blog/denial-programming/  

(Note: the above is part of premium content at VeronicaSwift.blog. I highly recommend getting an inexpensive yearly membership to this informative site! I do not benefit monetarily in any way from this suggestion.)

This episode of Testimony Mountain with Adena Hodges on YouTube also talks about Denial Programming as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7IIdTgcjlo&t=4s